'Life is different now’: Erika Kirk on grief, faith and a quieter Christmas after Charlie's death

PHOENIX, ARIZONA: Erika Kirk marked Christmas this year far differently than before as she continues to grieve the loss of her husband while raising their two young children.

The wife of the late Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk shared an emotional message on Instagram on Tuesday, December 30, opening up about how life has changed since his death and how her faith continues to guide her through the pain.

Posting photos and videos of her children celebrating Christmas, Erika described choosing a more private holiday while balancing old family traditions with new ones.

“This Christmas, we tucked away. And while the world, again, kept being the world, I loved settling into a space of continued healing where silence is golden and is a statement in itself,” she wrote. “The outpouring from our loved ones has been a sacred and holy balm to our hearts.”

Charlie Kirk was killed in Orem, Utah, on September 10 at just 31 years old. He left behind Erika and their two children, a daughter born in 2022 and a son born in 2024.

Erika Kirk is holding on to reminders of love

Erika acknowledged the emotional weight of the season, noting that “life is different now” and often painful. She shared that she has left many of her husband’s belongings untouched, including his socks, shoes, and vitamins. She described them as love notes from Heaven, offering comfort as she continues to grieve.

Despite the heartbreak, the mother of two said outside criticism and public scrutiny have had little impact on her resolve. “Their words, accusations, assumptions, and slander don’t land; they don’t burn. Never will. I owe the world nothing,” she wrote, adding that “none of it shakes me.”

Erika said she hoped her reflections would encourage other women to remain devoted to their marriages. “When your heart is set on letting your love story be one of deep devotion and self-sacrifice instead of self-serving, the Lord will use your marriage in ways completely hard to explain,” she said.

Her post also included videos of her children opening Christmas gifts and listening to carols. She ended the message by wishing her late husband a Merry Christmas.

Faith remains central for Erika Kirk

Erika spoke on her faith during an appearance on Fox News Sunday on December 28, saying she continues to maintain a strong relationship with God despite her loss.

“You trust in the Lord, and when you trust in the Lord, you do it, and faith is so powerful when it is lived out. God is good, and the world is evil,” she explained. “Don’t be surprised when the world acts like the world.”

She added that she has never questioned why tragedy struck her family. “God is good. I have never questioned, ‘Why me?’” the mom of two admitted. “I always knew that my life was not just to be lived for me. We are here for such a greater purpose, and Charlie and I both knew that.”

Erika also recalled a deeply personal prayer she said during her grief. “God, use me. God heal my heart. You know my pain, you know the depths of my pain. Walk through this with me. Put the people in my path that will help heal me and guide me and direct me and keep me in lockstep with your will,” she said.

“I don’t want anything outside of God’s will,” she added. “I will not even touch it with a 10-foot pole.”