'Should I ask my husband to step in as BIL admitted he had feelings for me while shopping for fiancee?'

In a bizarre turn of events, a woman took to Reddit's popular "Two Hot Takes" forum to seek advice after her brother-in-law (BIL) expressed his romantic feelings for her when she went wedding dress shopping with his fiancee.

Before going into her story, the OP noted that she wanted to remain anonymous and would be using a "throwaway" account because she wanted to promote her small business on her main account.

Woman shares her BIL expressed feelings for her after she went wedding dress shopping with his fiancee

"Okay, I’m pretty overwhelmed so I’ll start with some background. I have been with my husband for 5 years, we’ve been married for 2. Since early on in the relationship, I’ve been great friends with his older brother, partially because I always wanted one," the OP began her post.

She shared that when her BIL started dating a girl two years ago, she made sure his fiancee "knew she had a friend in me if she wanted since we’re the only girls in the family."

"We’re great friends now and since they got engaged 3 months ago, I have been helping with wedding planning and was asked to be a bridesmaid," she added.

The OP recalled having a great time during their shopping trip. "We went dress shopping today and had a blast, we went to brunch, had some mimosas, found the dress, and went back to their house to celebrate," she wrote.

After a while, she found herself in the kitchen alone with her brother-in-law, who told the OP that he simply needed to tell her something before it continued to bother him.

The OP shared, "I was a little buzzed and confused but was not at all expecting him to say what he did, 'I think I’ve had feelings for you for a few years and I’ve never been able to tell you and just needed to know if you ever felt the same.'"

At that moment, the woman completely froze and just shook her head. "I told him that no, I have never thought about him in any way other than a friend and a brother and I never would," the OP recounted. 

Before he could say anything further, she hurried back to his fiancee and the other girls there and "very discreetly told her I got my period and wasn’t feeling well and would have someone come get me and then come by soon for more wedding planning."

The OP eventually called her best friend to come get her, and her BIL's fiancee didn't seem to mind.

While the woman was absolutely sure that she was going to tell her husband what transpired after the shopping trip, she wasn't sure what her next steps should be. 

Seeking advice from the online community, the OP asked, "Do I tell his fiance, do I make him tell her, do I leave it, do I have my husband talk to him? Has anyone ever had something like this happen or have any advice, anything is appreciated."

Reddit community advises the woman to talk to her husband first

Redditors were in agreement that the woman should tell her husband about the incident so that they are able to deal with the situation as a team. 

One wrote, "Talk to your husband first cuz what if you tell her and he tries to flip it saying you said those things."

Another said, "One step at a time. You already plan to tell your husband. Your husband is your team mate so decide together what to do. This is such a hard situation to be in. He put you in a weird place. You’d be betraying your BIL’s fiance for not telling but if you do tell, things in the family will get weird and divided- but that wouldn’t be YOUR fault. I am pissed he did this to you. wtf did he think you were going to do? Leave his brother for him? RIGHT BEFORE THE WEDDING?? I would reach out to the BIL and chew him out."

"You tell your husband first. Discuss everything with him and then make a plan. You are a team. Listen to what your husband think about talking to his brother first vs. telling the fiance. In my opinion, you and your husband should talk to his brother together and let the brother tell his fiancee. If he won't tell her then tell the fiancee before they get married," one more added.

Another suggested, "Tell your husband immediately. Your BIL was trying to shoot his shot with you, before he went through with his wedding. He was actively trying to steal his brother's wife. It's time for both you and your husband to distance yourselves from BIL. Maybe together you and your husband can talk to his fiancee , afterwards. I wouldn't approach her. Alone. Do it fast before BIL preemptively tries to tell your husband or his fiancee that you tried to hit on him, because he thinks you will tell on him, after you shut him down"

"You need to tell your husband before his brother twists the narrative and paint you as the one who approached him," chimed in one more.

OP shares first update about the BIL situation

Soon after, the woman shared her first update on the BIL situation. 

While she was panicked, she didn't want to tell her husband "we need to talk" while he was still at work, so she waited for him to come home. 

She wrote, "My husband came home and he immediately knew I had something on my mind. I explained the whole thing and he was livid at his brother, thankfully he gave me a hug and I broke down crying from the stress. He assured me I did everything right and it wasn’t my fault," as per Someecards.

Following that her husband went for a call with his brother to let him know that he was aware of what had happened and that he wanted to speak with him directly.

"Well it turns out that his brother and fiancee were already on their way to our house to talk about it," she said.

The OP shared that her "BIL confessed everything" to his fiancee who initially "slapped him." Following a conversation between the two, his fiancee said that he needed to apologize to the OP and his brother before they could continue.

"So they came over and he and my husband went and talked, while I talked with his fiance. We both cried and talked for about an hour. I promised her I never had any feelings for him and had no idea he ever had any for me," the woman added. 

OP shares a second update

In her second update, the OP shared that sometime later her husband called his brother to ask if he wanted to watch the game with them at one of their favorite bars. Despite being shocked, her BIL agreed.

Soon after, she received a call from his fiancee asking if she could stay over while they were away. "She was honest and said it might be awkward, but we would do this a lot and either do some diy together, get a puzzle out, or watch movies together," the OP wrote.

They all decided that her BIL would see a therapist on his own and that he and his fiancee would begin seeing a couples therapist right away. The OP added, "Until they get a better grasp on what his feelings were/are and their own plan, we won’t get all 4 of us together and bil and I will not be alone together."

Describing her soon-to-be SIL as the "most level-headed people I’ve ever met," the woman further shared, "They are going to a consult with a therapist at the same practice in just a couple days. It obviously won’t be a quick and smooth fix, as this was messed up, but I’m much more optimistic than many comments here and wanted to share."

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