AITA: Woman ignores 40-year-old BF after he says ‘women expire at 30’ and Internet chips in with advice
A woman sought some relationship advice from the internet after her boyfriend made some rather "archaic and immature" comments about women.
Taking to Reddit's forum "Am I The A*****e" (AITA), the OP (original poster) titled the thread: "AITA for ignoring my bf after he said 'women expire at 30' ?? I am 28 and he is 40."
OP calls out her boyfriend's sexism
The saga began with what was supposed to be a lighthearted FaceTime chat. OP explained that since she and her boyfriend live in different cities, they often FaceTime before bed.
She began: "A couple nights ago we were having a banter session (just telling jokes to each other) while watching a dating show. He was pretending to be one of the male guests on the show we watch and said that 'women expire at 30' then started laughing."
"Immediately after he said this, I fell silent for the rest of the call, then after a couple of minutes of him saying, 'Hello, are you there?' he finally hangs up. Then he calls me back. I don’t answer. Instead, I ignore the call and go to bed," she continued. "I am not afraid of aging, I look good, and I’m as healthy as I can be, but this comment really offended me. I didn’t talk to him for 3 days after this, and he had no idea why. On the 4th day, he finally calls me, completely clueless as to why I am not speaking, and asks me what I’m up to. I immediately bring up the fact that his little joke offended me, and he kinda glosses over it."
"He said we were both joking and I’m just being dramatic like I always am then he says 'Women stop taking care of themselves at 30' and when I refused to stop talking about it he hung up on me. Since then I have not reached out to him, he has been doing all the work and it’s starting to make him upset…..lol imagine how I feel when I was doing all the work," the OP wrote.
She said her boyfriend has been pulling out all the stops since then to win her back. He even sent dinner to her house a few days after the “joke.” But his efforts came with a side of insecurity.
"Now every time we speak he accuses me of having other men over at my house while he’s away but I’m obviously not cheating and wouldn’t be writing this post if I was," she explained. "I keep thinking to myself if that is the reason why he dumped his last girlfriend after being together for so long, and his ex-wife….were they suddenly too old for him? I am not 'very young' but I’m obviously younger than him."
OP concluded by asking: "I’d like to hear from more men than women please, AITA for being offended? Even though I’m not 30 yet is it wrong for me to be upset?"
The internet weighs in
Redditors wasted no time sharing their unfiltered opinions.
"NTA. Dump his old ass. You aren't the one who should be worried about how well you're aging," one responded.
"This ain’t the man for you, especially since you’re only two years from 30 and his opinion of you is going to decline real quick," another offered. "Also I’d like to see him saying those words to my 95-year-old grandmother who still preens and dolls herself up. Every. Single. Day. Does she need help? Yes, but she still does it cause it makes her feel good."
"This is why 40 y.o. men look for younger women - because no self-respecting mature woman would put up with this type of archaic immature thought pattern. The reason why the idiom, “when people tell you who they are, believe them” is so popular is because it rings true. NTA," read a comment.
"So he expired ten years ago? NTA. This wasn’t a joke. Also, regardless of what prompted it, do you want to be with someone who says you’re 'just being dramatic like I always am'? Does he always dismiss you as dramatic?" someone else wondered.
"NTA. A good partner knows how to make you feel good, and a s***ty partner knows how to make you hurt," another chimed in. "Your BF knows the latter and showed it. He is expressing his own insecurities, given he’s taking a number of measures to address his perceived flaws, out on you. I’d guess he does so because you have your sense of confidence and self-worth well established. Don’t tolerate negging. A good partner will lift you up, not put you down."
This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.
