'I just put on music, and we go wild': Allison Holker finds healing through dance after tragic loss of husband Stephen 'tWitch' Boss

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Allison Holker has faced unimaginable challenges in the past year. 'The So You Think You Can Dance' judge lost her husband, Stephen "tWitch" Boss, to suicide in December 2022.

In an interview with ET, Holker shared insights into how she is managing her grief and progressing in her life alongside her family. A significant part of her healing process involves returning to the world of dance.

How dancing helps Holker and her kids express themselves

Holker revealed that she and her children – Weslie, 15, Maddox, 7, and Zaia, 3 – are feeling like “a breath of fresh air” and “a new version of who we are.”

She also shared how dancing has been a source of healing and connection for her and her family.

“It’s been a hard year for every one of my kids, expectedly, so I try to be as patient as I can and converse with them in many different ways 'cause they’re all very different and they require different kinds of conversations,” Holker said.

“But then there’s a time where conversation isn’t what’s warranted or wanted."

"I just put on music, and we go wild. It’s like in our house when we start dancing, it’s just freedom. I just allow my kids to be kids and express themselves through movement, and you can feel so much angst leaving their body.”

She added, “I have found it to be a really healing thing for us individually, and I’ll say this. It’s not just for the younger, but it’s also for Weslie, who’s 15, and she puts her coolness to the side and just lets loose, and I have to admit it’s quite common to see that in our household.”

How Holker overcame her fear of dancing again after Boss’ death

Holker also opened up about how difficult it was for her to dance again after Boss’ death, as dancing was “so close to every memory I really share with Stephen.”

She confessed that she didn't dance for "almost five months" after Boss' death.

“There [were] parts of me that didn’t know if I was ready,” she confessed. “It almost felt like maybe if I dance for the first time it’s my final release of him."

"I don’t know if I was trying to hold onto him or if I was scared to share that with him. I’m not sure which one it was but it took me a very long time to do it. I called my friend Brittney Russell and I was like, ‘I think I’m ready to dance,’ but I didn’t want to do it alone, I was too scared to do it alone."

"She came over, and we danced, and I feel like I just got so much off of me, and I actually felt so connected to Stephen, and I felt so connected to myself and to her and my home… It was such a great release for myself."

"I say the word freedom but [it was] also healing and it gave me a sense of remembering who I am and who I still can be.”

How Holker honors Boss’ legacy with a new children’s book

Holker is also honoring her late husband’s legacy with a new children’s book, 'Keep Dancing Through: A Boss Family Groove,' which she co-wrote with him before his death.

The book, which features illustrations of Holker, Boss, and their children, is described as a “heartfelt celebration of family and their motto that encourages readers young and old to dance to a beat that’s all their own.”

“I’m feeling confident, I’m feeling strong, my kids are doing well so I feel like 2024 [will be] so much bigger for us,” Holker said.

“It feels like a fresh start. I said the other day, it feels like a new beginning for us, and of course, we’re still gonna have lows and still have moments, but it really feels like we’re in a new trajectory and a new chapter for ourselves,” she added.