Ina Garten recalls how 'certain roles' pushed her to 'hit pause' and nearly divorce her husband Jeffery

EAST HAMPTON, NEW YORK: Ina Garten got personal and divulged some surprising details in her upcoming memoir 'Be Ready When the Luck Happens' about her seemingly flawless marriage to her longtime husband Jeffrey Garten.

In a book excerpt revealed by People, Ina talked about how the conventional roles of "husband and wife" began weighing on her and described their brief separation and impending divorce in the 1970s.

Ina Garten 'thought' about divorcing her husband Jeffrey at her 'lowest point'

The 76-year-old Food Network personality, who has been married to Jeffrey Garten, 77, for 56 years, revealed that she was on the verge of divorcing him before they reconnected.

Ina told People on Tuesday, September 17, that although she was putting in a lot of effort to run the specialized food store that would catapult her into a celebrity—the Barefoot Contessa—Jeffrey "expected a wife that would make dinner."

She added, "There were certain roles that we played, and I found them really annoying. I felt that if I just hit the pause button, I would get his attention."

The businesswoman considered getting a divorce but ultimately decided to ask Jeffrey for a separation.

"I thought about it a lot, and at my lowest point, I wondered if the only answer would be to get a divorce," she wrote in her memoir, which will be released on October 1.

She added, "I loved Jeffrey and didn’t want to shock — ­or hurt — ­him, so I’d start by suggesting we pause for a separation."

"It was the hardest thing I ever did. I told him that I needed to be on my own. I didn’t say whether it was for now ... or forever."

"In true Jeffrey form, he said, 'If you feel like you need to be on your own, you need to do it.' He packed his bag and went home to Washington with no plan to come back. I buried my emotions and threw myself into my work," she continued.

Ina returned to Washington, DC, before Jeffrey went for a six-week work trip, following the Barefoot Contessa's winter closure.

"Jeffrey met me at the [train] station, and when we got to our house, we sat together on the steps outside, reluctant to go in because we were caught between two worlds: the way it used to be when we were Ina and Jeffrey, and the sad way it was now. A painful limbo," she recalled in her book.

Why did Ina Garten consider divorcing her longtime husband Jeffrey Garten?

At the time, Ina Garten reportedly quit her position as the White House employee in Washington, DC, where she worked alongside Jeffrey, to take on the role at Barefoot Contessa. Jeffrey lived in Washington, DC, and spent his weekends in the Hamptons.

Ina acknowledged noticing a change in the dynamics after that. The chef wrote in her memoir, "When I bought Barefoot Contessa, I shattered our traditional roles —­ took a baseball bat to them and left them in pieces."

"While I was still cooking, cleaning, shopping, managing at the store, I was doing it as a businesswoman, not a wife. My responsibilities made it impossible for me to even think about anything else," she continued.

"There was no expectation about who got home from work first and what they should do, because I never got home from work!" Ina added.

And although Jeffrey tried to visit on the weekends, Ina thought it important to find out for herself what she needed.

"When Jeffrey came on weekends, he was a distraction. I didn’t pay enough attention to him. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone so I could concentrate on the store."

"Jeffrey was fully formed and living the life he wanted to live. I wasn’t, and I wouldn’t be able to figure out who I was or what I wanted unless I was on my own. I needed that freedom," Ina added.

Ina Garten and Jeffrey reconciled after seeking professional help

The former White House nuclear policy analyst described their talk before Jeffrey departed for his six-week assignment.

She wrote in her book, "I just couldn’t live with him in a traditional 'man and wife' relationship. Jeffrey hadn’t done anything wrong. He was just doing what every man before him had done. But we were living in a new era, and that behavior wasn’t okay with me anymore. I had changed."

Jeffrey, a Yale professor today, was advised by Ina that seeing a therapist would be vital for them to make amends. She had anticipated that he would perceive their dynamic as equal partners with the assistance of an expert.

"One hour, that's all Jeffrey needed. He went once for an hour and totally got it," Ina told People.

"Jeffrey’s willingness to see the therapist was as significant as anything that might happen during their session. He was that determined to convince me he was serious about making our marriage work."

"Six weeks passed. We talked, we listened, and more important, we heard each other when we aired our concerns. Moving forward, we could be equals who took care of each other. It wouldn’t happen overnight, but if we worked toward the same goal, we could change things together," she recalled.

In the end, the long-term couple—who had begun dating in 1965—came out of that period stronger than before.

"Thank God I did," she wrote. "I think how crazy that was and how dangerous it was, but we wouldn’t have the relationship we have now if I hadn’t done it."

Considering the difficult time of her marriage to Jeffrey, Ina has no regrets about her request for separation. She added, "It changed him but it also changed me too."