James Van Der Beek details how cancer affected his life leaving him to contemplate 'what am I?'

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: James Van Der Beek opened up about his experience with cancer while celebrating his 48th birthday on Saturday, March 15.

The actor, who has been undergoing treatment for stage three colon cancer, shared with his followers that the past year has been the hardest on his life in a video posted on Instagram.

James Van Der Beek reflects on a 'weak guy, alone in an apartment with cancer'

Reflecting on his journey, the 'Dawson's Creek' alum described how facing death changed his perspective.

"When I was younger, I used to define myself as an actor, which was never all that fulfilling, and then I became a husband and it was much better, and then I became a father and that was the ultimate," James Van Der Beek, who lives with wife, Kimberly, and their six children said in the video.

Being separated from his family during treatment forced him to reflect on his sense of self.

"All of those definitions that I cared so deeply about were stripped from me," he said, adding "I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband who was helpful to my wife," Daily Mail reported. 

"I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be there for them. I could not be a provider because I wasn't working," he said.

While confronting his situation, the 'Vampirina' voice actor recalled asking himself, "If I am just a too-skinny, weak guy, alone in an apartment with cancer, what am I?"

James Van Der Beek finds peace in self-worth and spirituality

James Van Der Beek revealed that he found clarity during meditation.

"I am worthy of God's love simply because I exist. And if I'm worthy of God's love, shouldn't I also be worthy of my own?" he asked.

As he moves toward recovery, he credited the prayers and support from others for helping him reach that realization.

"That revelation that came to me was in no small part due to all the prayers and the love that had been directed toward me," he said.

James Van Der Beek tells fans 'you are worthy of love'

James Van Der Beek encouraged those watching his video to embrace self-worth, regardless of their beliefs.

"I certainly don't claim to know what God is or explain God, my efforts to connect to God are an ongoing process that is a constant unfolding mystery to me," he said.

He reassured viewers that they could take a different approach if needed.

"If it's a trigger that feels too religious, you can take the word God out in your mind and it can simply be 'I am worthy of love.' Because you are," he said.

He expressed gratitude for the support he received and with a heartfelt message to his followers he concluded by saying, "Thank you for all the prayers, and I hope you have a blessed day."