Jimmy Kimmel roasts 'toddler' Trump over White House UFC plans: 'He is 3 years old'
Jimmy Kimmel on Trump: “Everyone treats him like he’s three years old. He needs a lot of attention. He needs immediate gratification. He needs constant praise for nothing. He takes nap time. They order him McDonald’s. He gets ice cream after dinner every night. He loves to use a… pic.twitter.com/uCDt6HxbV2
— Marco Foster (@MarcoFoster_) December 10, 2025
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Jimmy Kimmel didn't hold back on Wednesday, December 10, delivering a scathing monologue that branded President Donald Trump a "toddler" while roasting his plans to host UFC fights on the White House lawn.
Kimmel mocked the recently revealed details of the 'UFC White House' event, scheduled for June 14, 2026 - the president's 80th birthday - as part of the nation's 250th anniversary celebrations.
"Whose 80th birthday theme is inviting men to beat the crap out of each other on his lawn?" Kimmel asked his audience. "The most miserable son of a b**** in the world. That's him."
The host joked that the real reason for the violent spectacle is that Trump is essentially "a child" with everyone around him treating him "like he’s 3 years old.
Jimmy Kimmel lists Trump's 'toddler' traits
Kimmel then launched into a rapid-fire list of reasons why the Commander-in-Chief fit the description of a preschooler.
"He needs a lot of attention, so they let him have a press conference every day. He needs immediate gratification; they give him a Diet Coke button," Kimmel quipped.
"He gets constant praise for nothing, ‘Oh, you did so good! Look how big you are! Your MRI is perfect!’ He takes nap time often in the middle of a meeting."
Kimmel continued the barrage, noting that the president "gets ice cream after dinner every night" and "loves to use a Sharpie when he’s not supposed to."
"He’s 3 years old," Kimmel repeated, delivering the final zinger: "If we could just get him to start watching CoComelon instead of Newsmax, problem solved."
UFC weigh-ins at Lincoln Memorial
The comedian also expressed disbelief at the scale of the planned UFC event, which involves building a 5,000-seat arena on the South Lawn.
He particularly zeroed in on the detail that weigh-ins would be held at the Lincoln Memorial.
"See people who are all, 'don't you dare desecrate the flag.' Totally fine with guys in their underpants at the foot of Abraham Lincoln," Kimmel noted.
Robert F Kennedy Jr's 'MahaFresh' airport overhaul
Moving from the White House to the terminal, Kimmel roasted a new initiative from Health Secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr and Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy to install workout stations in airports.
Kimmel jokingly endorsed the idea before parodying RFK Jr's potential food court contribution: 'MahaFresh'.
"Treat your body to alpaca taco salad, dead bear barbacoa... and an all-you-can-eat dimethyltryptamine bar," Kimmel narrated in a gravelly voice, mocking Kennedy's health theories.
JD Vance's Christmas party and 'grifter' merch
Kimmel also highlighted the president's brief visit to Vice President JD Vance's holiday party at the Naval Observatory, referencing a viral internet joke about Vance and furniture.
"I hope you did not sit on that couch," Kimmel joked, before turning his attention to the "MAGAland" Christmas merchandise being peddled by Trump allies.
He showcased "Trump Vodka" promoted by Eric Trump and "Rudy Coffee" from Rudy Giuliani, whom Kimmel dubbed "our first ever disbarred barista."
"Make your teeth as brown as America's mayors with a carafe of Rudy coffee this year," Kimmel laughed.
He closed the segment by highlighting Mike Lindell's pharmacy promotion, concluding, "With gifts like these, I finally understand why Melania hates Christmas so much."
