Melinda Gates reveals lack of honesty killed 'intimacy' in marriage to ex-husband Bill: 'I had to go'

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Melinda French Gates is opening up about the reasons behind her split from Bill Gates nearly three years after they ended their marriage.

The philanthropist appeared on two talk shows on April 14 to promote her memoir 'The Next Day', where she shared emotional details about the painful process.

The couple, who were married for 27 years, announced their divorce in May 2021. Since then, both Melinda and Bill have spoken publicly about the experience.

Melinda Gates says her current relationship is 'pretty great'

During her appearance on 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert', Melinda Gates revealed how divorce helped in her personal growth.

She said she entered marriage hoping for a “trusted relationship” but realized that wasn’t possible without honesty.

“To have a trusted relationship, which is what I wanted in marriage, both partners have to be honest with one another," Melinda said, according to People.

“And if you can't, you can't have intimacy and you can't have trust. So in the end, I had to go,” Melinda said during her conversation with Stephen Colbert.

Melinda answered in the affirmative when asked if she was dating at present. On being asked how her current relationship was going, she said, "It's been pretty great, it's been pretty great," drawing applause from the crowd as Colbert congratulated her.

Melinda Gates recalls nightmares and lessons during 'painful' divorce

While promoting her memoir, Melinda Gates spoke about the emotional toll of the divorce during an appearance on 'Good Morning America'.

She described the split as “painful," saying, "It's not something I would wish on anybody." 

She added, "For me it was painful for sure. I ended up learning some lessons and there was some growth in there, too." 

She also opened up about the importance of her memoir and the details she had shared, saying, "I'm going to be my most authentic self, people knew I had gone through it, and it's hard, it's hard on any family." 

In the book, she writes about having vivid nightmares related to her family during the time of the separation, including one where she fell off a cliff.

"As dramatic as it sounds,” Melinda wrote, “I knew, in that moment, that I was going to have to make a decision—and that I was going to have to make it by myself.”

She also mentioned that she hoped her honesty in sharing her experience might be “helpful” to others navigating divorce.

In a mysterious shoutout, she writes in her gratitude, "There's another person I want to thank. You've helped me heal and find beauty again."

Adding, "You know who you are," without naming the person.

Bill Gates calls divorce from Melinda Gates his 'biggest failure'

Bill Gates has also publicly reflected on the end of their marriage. In January 2025, he told the UK Times that the divorce was “tough” and “the mistake I most regret.”

He added that while he’s made other mistakes, the separation would be “at the top of the list.”

In a follow-up appearance on the 'Today' show, Bill clarified that it wasn’t the marriage itself that he regretted.

“Despite the fact that the divorce wasn’t great, having those three kids, the work we were able to do together — even if I knew that it [wouldn't] last forever, I would still do it again,” he said.

In response to his remarks, Melinda told Elle that she hoped people could see she was “thriving on the other side of a divorce".