Michelle Obama complains 'we didn't get the grace' other first families have received

Michelle Obama opened up about how, as the first Black couple in the White House, she and Barack Obama couldn’t afford any missteps
PUBLISHED NOV 2, 2025
Michelle Obama shared how she and her family 'couldn't afford to get anything wrong' after Barack Obama first became president (Kevin Mazur/WireImage)
Michelle Obama shared how she and her family 'couldn't afford to get anything wrong' after Barack Obama first became president (Kevin Mazur/WireImage)

BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS: Michelle Obama revealed in a new interview that she and her family felt cheated out of the respect given to other first families.

The former first lady sat down with 'Good Morning America' host Robin Roberts ahead of the release of her new book, 'The Look', a deep dive into her White House wardrobe and what it really meant. But it wasn’t just a fashion chat as news got candid about what it was like being America’s first Black first lady, and the lack of “grace” she says her family was shown compared to others.

At one point during the interview, Robin asked Michelle, "You said, 'We were all too aware that, as the first Black couple, we couldn’t afford any missteps. And you also say, as a Black woman, I was under a particularly white-hot glare.' Did you feel that?” 

The ex-FLOTUS responded, “For sure. You can’t afford to get anything wrong, at least until the country came to know us; we didn’t get the grace that I think some other families have gotten.” 



“Now don’t get me wrong, every first lady faces that kind of scrutiny, every woman in the public eye faces a certain level of scrutiny because of her physical appearance,” she said. “We live in a culture sadly where you know if somebody wants to go after a woman the first thing they do is go after our looks, our size, our physical being, as a way to, you know, make us feel small to keep us in place.”

Michelle Obama dressed with a mission

Michelle Obama insisted she was dressing to send a message. “In the back of my mind were all the mothers and the grandmothers who I wanted to make proud,” she highlighted. “I didn’t want to show up just any kind of way, I wanted to show up with thought and consideration and energy and light.”

She said she avoided diving into the topic of fashion while in the White House, because she didn’t want it to distract from more serious issues. “During my eight years in the White House, although there was a lot of attention given to my fashion, my physical appearance, all of that, I made it a point to shy away from that conversation, because I was worried that it would become a distraction.” 

WASHINGTON, DC - OCTOBER 18: First Lady Michelle Obama, wearing an Atelier Versace dress, and President Barack Obama await the arrival of Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi and Agnese Landini on October 18, 2016 in Washington, DC. (Photo by Leigh Vogel/WireImage)
Former first lady Michelle Obama, wearing an Atelier Versace dress, and former President Barack Obama await the arrival of Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi and Agnese Landini on October 18, 2016, in Washington, DC (Leigh Vogel/WireImage)

But now she’s ready to spill the symbolism behind them. “I really thought about what I wanted to say with my fashion,” Michelle explained. “I wanted to talk about inclusion, diversity, opening up opportunities, and fashion was one of those tools that allowed me to do that.”

“The designers that I chose there were young designers, there were women designers, there were also immigrant American designers,” she said.

She gave a shout-out to Jason Wu for her unforgettable white inaugural gown.

“I thought about who was going to do my inaugural gown, and someone like Jason Wu, who was young, I think he he was in his early 20s, he had just gotten started was a fabulous designer with a beautiful story an immigrant American, and I want to emphasize that in these times because our fashion industry is very dependent on strong immigrant uh Americans who come here and do great work,” she remarked. 

President Barack Obama and his wife Michelle arrive at the Obama Homes States Ball, one of ten official inaugural balls January 20, 2009 in Washington DC. (Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)
Former President Barack Obama and former first lady Michelle arrive at the Obama Homes States Ball, one of ten official inaugural balls, on January 20, 2009, in Washington, DC (Mark Wilson/Getty Images)

Michelle later added, “When we look around at truly who has built this country, who keeps it moving, you know, it’s all of us and all of us is black, brown, Puerto Rican Mexican-American, Italian, Irish, Haitian, come on, you know that’s the story of America right, and it is the most true in fashion.”

From gowns to glitter boots

Of course, Robin Roberts couldn’t resist asking about those viral gold thigh-high glitter boots from Michelle Obama’s 'Becoming' book tour.

“That was a version of me, sort of the fun, sparkly, sexy, interesting detail, so that was another aspect of me,” the ex-FLOTUS said, before adding, “Would I have worn gold thigh-high boots as first lady? No, no, I would not have done that.”

Michelle Obama (Photo by Derek White/Getty Images for ABA)
 Former First Lady Michelle Obama speaks onstage during the Michelle Obama: The Light We Carry Tour at The Fox Theatre on December 2, 2022, in Atlanta, Georgia (Derek White/Getty Images for ABA)

But now that she’s out of the White House, she’s embracing the freedom to just be herself. 

“I am saying yes to things that I really, really want to do,” she revealed. “There’s a certain freedom that I feel I’m at that stage in life where I can say ‘Yeah maybe I know a few things.’”

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