Naya Rivera's ex Ryan Dorsey speaks out for first time, reveals how drowning death has impacted their son

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: It has been nearly five years since Naya Rivera tragically drowned at the age of 33 and her ex-husband, Ryan Dorsey, is still deeply affected by her loss.

He struggles to look at pictures of her and carries immense guilt for not being there that day. Their son, Josey Hollis Dorsey, now nine, also struggles with feelings of guilt over not being able to save his mother.

Ryan Dorsey says 'I probably would have jumped in'

Ryan Dorsey, 41, reflected on what could have happened if he had been present when Naya Rivera drowned in Lake Piru.

"I probably would have jumped in, and I like to think I would've saved the day," he told People, adding "But on the other hand, I think maybe something bad could have happened to both of us. I don't know."

Josey, who was only four at the time, also struggles with what happened.

"That obviously still sticks out in his head because he feels like he could have saved her. I think she just got caught up in a brush—that or a weird undercurrent from the dam. It was just a freak occurrence," Dorsey said.

Dorsey recalled his son telling him that the last thing Rivera said was his name before she disappeared.

"He said that the last thing she said was his name, and then she went under, and he didn't see her anymore. It just rocks my world that he had to witness her last moments," he shared.

Josey also remembers a moment when he was too scared to throw a rope that could have potentially helped his mother.

"Something he's said over and over is that he was trying to find a life raft, and there was a rope, but there was a big spider on the rope, and he was too scared to throw it," he said.

"I keep reassuring him, 'Buddy, that rope wasn't going to be long enough,'" Dorsey said.

Ryan Dorsey recalls 'it was the worst five days of my life' 

Following Naya Rivera’s disappearance, Ryan Dorsey was overcome with panic when he heard the news.

He recalled collapsing at Ralph's grocery store in Big Bear before driving 100 MPH for 145 miles to Lake Piru to join the five-day search effort.

"It was the worst five days of my life," he said, adding "There was a fear, what if we don't find her? It was just awful."

In 2022, Ventura County reached a confidential settlement with Dorsey in a wrongful death lawsuit as the rented boat was found to be out of compliance with safety standards. 

Ryan Dorsey plans to write more about this tragedy in an upcoming memoir

Ryan Dorsey has been living in West Virginia for the past two years where Josey has been involved in sports, violin lessons, and has performed in two plays at the Children's Theatre of Charleston.

He shared that his son often becomes emotional while looking at a memory book dedicated to Rivera.

"We made this book of memories for Josey that sits by his bed, and during the holidays he was crying looking at it," Dorsey said.

"You can only give him a hug and tell him, 'I know, life is not fair. Bad things happen, and there's no reason for it, and you just have to do your best to be a good person,'" he added.

He admitted to struggling with explaining such a painful loss to his son.

"It's hard trying to explain things that you can't really make sense of no matter what age you are. I'm not a big believer in everything happens for a reason because I can't ever think of a reason why he doesn't have his mom," he said.

Ryan Dorsey found love again 

Josey Dorsey has been asking his father for a stepmother and a younger sibling, and Dorsey recently started dating again.

"I think I found someone that I do like," he shared, Daily Mail noted. 

Dorsey has returned to Los Angeles to film a "very cool" Apple TV+ show and will soon reprise his role as Frank Whales in CBS's 'Tracker.'

He remains hopeful about landing a series regular role saying, "I'm a single parent, I'm the only one earning money for Josey."

"Everyone thinks that if she was successful, and if I'm on TV, that you have a bunch of money, but no one really knows the financial situation," Dorsey shared. 

"I didn't leave LA because we were just sitting on a bunch of money," he said.