Nick Viall’s wife Natalie Joy shares biggest heartbreak of miscarrying second baby: 'I feel dead inside'

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Nick Viall's wife Natalie Joy shared that she had a miscarriage with their second child while reflecting on emotional pain of the experience.

The couple, who are also parents to their 11-month-old daughter, River Rose, opened up on their heartbreak on the January 19 episode of 'The Viall Files' podcast.

'I feel dead inside,' says Natalie Joy as she processes her miscarriage

Joy described the miscarriage as the "biggest heartbreak" of her life.

"I've been trying to be a good mom to River and come and do my job, whether it's on the podcast or on social media for the past week," Joy said.

"And currently, as I sit here today, I'm actively miscarrying our second child, and it has been the biggest heartbreak, I think, of my life," she revealed on the podcast.

She shared how difficult it has been to process the loss, admitting, "I've never experienced something where I feel so empty inside," People reported. 

She also recalled her sister’s struggles with pregnancy loss. "My sister has had 12 miscarriages, and it's like you feel sad and you wanna be there for these people, but you don't really know the loss that they feel until you go through it yourself," said Joy.

The 26-year-old spoke about the emotional toll, adding, "I feel dead inside. It sucks because I have to be so alive for River."

"I have to be silly and goofy and funny and play with her. Then, I have this overwhelming guilt that when I’m with you, I can’t also do that. I’m sad that the only version you get right now is this broken person," she told Nick.

Natalie Joy recalls traumatic moment she realized she was miscarrying

Natalie Joy revealed that she had been spotting for some time, something she hadn’t experienced in her previous pregnancy.

She admitted that, despite knowing spotting can be normal, she had a bad feeling from the start. "I think I knew from the jump," she said.

"I'm just so thankful that we were home and not traveling and not in a hotel or on an airplane, but we got home and I went to go pee. And it was like I gave birth," she recalled.

She described her reaction, saying, "I began screaming and crying," which led Viall to come into the bathroom.

Viall recounted the difficult moment, explaining, "After I discovered what happened, I took Joy out of the bathroom and went in by myself," adding that it was a "traumatic" experience to "retrieve" what was in the toilet.

"That was definitely the hardest night of my life," Joy stated.

Nick Viall reflects on the emotional impact of the loss

Nick Viall shared that while he knows many people have experienced miscarriage, he struggled to process his emotions when he first heard the news.

"I mean, especially for everyone involved except for the mother, even as a father, connecting with your unborn child is a process," Viall said.

He added, "Every experience you have until you experience something, it's harder to empathize."

He continued, "And once you can, you sometimes feel a bit of guilt for not empathizing the way you feel like you should have now that it's happened to you."

Joy expressed her exhaustion, saying, "I look at myself and I'm like, 'I just had a successful, non-complicated pregnancy and birth, and I'm 26 years old. And like, why? Why me? Why did this happen to me?'"

The couple, who married in April, acknowledged that they are still processing their grief. Joy shared why she chose to open up about their loss on the podcast.

"It’s going to take a long time to heal from this, but it is raw and we're feeling it right now," she said. 

She said the reason for sharing her story was to empathize with people like her, letting them know they were not alone. 

"I just also don't want to forget this baby. I don't want time to go on and for this baby to have just been like a blip in our lives," Joy said.

"I want River to be able to watch this back and see her parents' love for her sibling that could have been here," she said.