'There was a lot riding on live performance': Kenan Thompson opens up on his comic journey on TV

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Kenan Thompson is undoubtedly one of the legends of the ‘Saturday Night Live’ show.

The star shared his journey via a new memoir released on Tuesday, December 5, called ‘When I Was Your Age: Life Lessons, Funny Stories & Questionable Parenting Advice from a Professional Clown.’

Kenan Thompson had a hard time performing live

Kenan honestly admits his struggle initially and how his confidence "sunk to an all-time low" during one of his early failed sketches.

"I was excited for the first opportunity to showcase my chops on the big stage," he wrote in the book, adding "Thing was, I couldn’t make it through dress rehearsal. I stuttered over this one line and couldn’t ad-lib my way out of it."

He shared one particular instance when he heard an ‘involuntary ‘Oh no!’ slip from ‘someone’s mouth.’ "If a slip up like that happened at Nickelodeon or in the movies I’d done, we could just do another take," he reflected.

"At 'SNL', there was a lot riding on the live performance, obviously, and to no one’s surprise, the sketch didn’t make it to air," he added.

Self-doubt seeped in Kenan Thompson, writes actor in his memoir

The 45-year-old further added, "I had no idea if I was doing a good job or not. When the season finished, I didn’t even think I’d be asked back. I knew I needed to get better at writing my own characters, and prayed I’d get another season to take a stab at it."

Kenan also doubted himself after being cut from various episodes during his initial phase at the stage, as per People.

"I was like, 'What the hell am I doing here?' I was famous enough that people were trying to follow me off the subway, but I couldn’t get on the show," he writes, wondering "if there was space at 'SNL' for my kind of comedy."

"It led to many depressive feelings," Kenan said, but it went away after he had a word with Maya Rudolph. He asked why he was there in the first place, "'It was a no-brainer,” she responded. “We could tell you were ready and you’re adorable. We all said, ‘Obviously, it’s Kenan.'”

"I fully freaked out hearing that. I literally had a seat next to one of the most talented performers I had ever seen. Her pedigree was legendary," he praised her.

"To be complimented by someone you admire was humbling and enlightening. I wasn’t just a kid laughing at his own jokes in front of the mirror. I’d been validated," he added.