Ethan Slater's ex-wife Lilly Jay reflects on their divorce and his relationship with Ariana Grande
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Lilly Jay, clinical psychologist and former wife of Broadway actor Ethan Slater, has opened up about the end of her marriage in an emotional essay for The Cut, published on December 18.
Jay shared her thoughts on the personal and public challenges she faced following Slater’s relationship with his 'Wicked' co-star Ariana Grande, although she refrained from naming the pop star directly.
Lilly Jay on the 'absence' of the life she planned with 'high-school sweetheart' Ethan Slater
In her essay, Lilly Jay delves into the complexities of adjusting to life as a single mother and processing the public fallout from her high-profile divorce.
“Motherhood, I have learned, fills your time but not your mind,” she wrote, describing her daily life with her two-year-old son.
“In the countless hours I spend rocking my son to sleep, pushing his stroller, marveling at his sweaty little hands grasping a crayon, I work diligently on my private project of accepting the sudden public downfall of my marriage,” she shared.
Despite the heartbreak, Jay expressed optimism, saying, “Slowly but surely, I have come to believe that in the absence of the life I planned with my high-school sweetheart, a lifetime of sweetness is waiting for me and my child.”
Inside Ethan Slater and Lilly Jay's relationship
Lilly Jay and Ethan Slater's marriage officially ended in September, concluding a relationship that began 12 years ago when they were high school sweethearts.
The couple married in November 2018 and welcomed their son in August 2022.
Their separation became public earlier this year, shortly after Slater and Grande began dating, according to People.
Reflecting on the sudden turn of events, Jay admitted, “No one gets married thinking they’ll get divorced, in the same way we don’t board a plane expecting to crash."
"But I really never thought I would get divorced. Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity,” she shared.
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Lilly Jay on life under the spotlight
Lilly Jay’s essay highlights the unique challenges of losing her “life of invisibility” as a psychologist specializing in women’s mental health.
She recounted how former acquaintances reached out after seeing her name in tabloids, while her patients remained silent on the matter.
“At the Children’s Hospital, my invisibility was welcome protection from hard conversations for me and my patients,” she explained.
Despite the discomfort, Jay acknowledged the publicity could offer an opportunity for connection.
“If I’m discovered — as what, being vulnerable? — perhaps it could be a point of connection rather than a clinical liability,” she wrote.
Throughout her essay, Jay revealed her struggles with postpartum depression and the fear of losing control but assured her readers that she was “okay.”
“You know how a sponge is most effective at absorbing liquid when it’s already a bit wet?" she wrote.
"Maybe we can think about my messy not-so-personal life in that way: a dose of my own loss, rage, powerlessness, sadness that helps me hold yours,” Jay concluded.
