Noah Kahan issues hilarious warning to thief who stole his wallet and spent money at Kentucky-Auburn game

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK: Noah Kahan had an unexpected encounter over the weekend when his wallet was swiped at New York City's LaGuardia Airport.

The thief wasted no time putting the 'Hurt Somebody' hitmaker's credit card to use, making purchases at a Kentucky Wildcats vs Auburn Tigers football game, as per BroBible.

Noah Kahan makes an appeal to thief to get back his poop-filled wallet

Noah Kahan delivered a cheeky takedown of the alleged thief's reckless spending habits on social media. 

"I was in LaGuardia airport today and somebody stole my wallet and is currently flying with it to Louisville, Kentucky," shared the 27-year-old on Instagram, adding, "I hope you’re having a nice flight… All good, they took the wallet. I wanted to let them know a couple of things about it."

His message then took a humorous turn, as he noted, "Like most people, I keep money in my wallet. Unlike most people, I take all my s**t into my wallet. So, if you’ve held the wallet today, there’s a 95% chance you have my disgusting, hemorrhoidal poop all over your hands… Just wanted to make sure you knew that."

Kahan concluded the post with a sarcastic summary of the wallet's worth, quipping, "There’s about $500 total… So, you’re eating my poop, and you have no money. If you want to return it to me, I would love my s****y wallet." 

Soon after, the 'Stick Season' singer noticed that his credit card was used at Kroger Field, where the Wildcats took on Auburn. He speculated the stolen cash likely went toward "overpriced hot dogs" and possibly a few beers—a disappointing reward considering the game's outcome. 

The Wildcats, who had jumped to an early 10-0 lead, lost to Auburn after being held scoreless the rest of the game.

Fans in stitches as Noah Kahan issues hilarious warning to wallet thief

Noah Kahan's fans had some witty reactions to his take on the situation.

One joked, "No need to call the cops on him @NoahKahan being forced to watch that Kentucky Foot all team was punishment enough," and another said, "His wallet was stolen at La Guardia, so the fact that it ended up here is even funnier."

"One hotdog for each undisciplined play," quipped a person, with someone else saying, "If he’s a Cat fan, he almost certainly needed a few beers to sit thru that game!!"

One more wrote, "Best post of the weekend. Noah Kahan is dope and the fact that he unintentionally bought dogs at the Cats game makes me happy. ***even though I do not condone the theft part."

An individual commented, "Man Rule #1. Never. Let. Your. Wallet. Out. Of. Your. Sight."

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