Sara Haines shares 'childhood trauma' while discussing complimenting norms with co-hosts on 'The View'
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK: Co-host Sara Haines shared her "childhood trauma" regarding compliment sharing at the Hot Topics table on the January 26 episode of 'The View.'
The topic was broached by Joy Behar, who mentioned that a woman, whose brother and sister-in-law are in their second marriage with one daughter each from their first marriage, was bothered by the fact that her sister-in-law felt it was important to complement both children even if it is meant for one.
Sara Haines shares her childhood trauma
Haines began by saying that she has four siblings, and every time someone complimented any one of them, with something as simple as "Oh, your daughter is doing this," her mother would remind them that she had 3 other amazing children.
The practice has continued into adulthood, shared the co-host.
"What that does is it creates an invisibility factor where you don't feel seen ever for the parts that you bring to life and the table. There's nothing unique about you, you are just like everyone else. So what started as a very special notion, becomes 'everyone gets an award in this conversation,' and then no one gets anything."
Behar did not buy into Haines' point, saying that it was "different from compliments," but the latter was too invested to give up easily.
"No, Joy - my mom - this happened within years ago. She came (to the set) and someone said, 'I loved working with your daughter. She is so great to have around.' My mom, rather than just saying 'Thank you,' said, 'My other 3 kids are (amazing),'" she explained in a rush.
Alyssa Farah Griffin feels compliments should be individualized
"You have to individualize the compliments, or I feel I agree with Sara," said Griffin. "Like Brian (executive producer) sometimes does. It is more like you are paying all the hosts the same compliment and I don't feel seen because I know that you're just giving a blanket compliment."
"Don't you just accept that?" asked Behar, to which the co-host responded, "I want to know what I am succeeding at individually," igniting another spark of quick remarks around the table.
The debate was far from being settled, as Behar stated, "When I see two children in the same room, and one child gets a compliment and the other one does not, that child feels bad," and stuck by her words as she engaged with Haines.
However, Brian Teta brought the segment to an end by paying them a blanket compliment, "You're all queens. You did a great job."
RULES ON COMPLIMENTING SOMEONE? After a woman wrote in to Reddit with frustration because her sister-in-law thinks if you compliment one daughter you also have to compliment the other, #TheView co-hosts weigh in. https://t.co/cVclFZQU98 pic.twitter.com/CxM7lAT1ZD
— The View (@TheView) January 27, 2024
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