Trump goes after DC’s ‘old’ grass after taking federal control of police: 'Going to be redoing parks'

WASHINGTON, DC: President Donald Trump has set his sights on Washington, DC’s parks as part of his sweeping effort to remake the nation’s capital, pledging to replace what he described as “old, tired, exhausted” grass with “the finest grasses.”

The move comes as Trump continues to wield control over the city’s police force and deploy the National Guard to crack down on crime.

Speaking from the John F Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts on August 13, Trump framed his beautification push as part of a larger campaign to “make DC so beautiful again,” even as he prepares to ask Congress to extend federal control of the Metropolitan Police Department beyond the 30-day limit set by law.

'We’re going to be redoing the parks, redoing the grass,' Trump says

Trump said his plan to rejuvenate the city’s parks reflects his real estate sensibilities, comparing DC to a property in need of a facelift. "We’re going to be redoing the parks, redoing the grass," he said.

"You know, grass has a lifetime, like people have a lifetime. And the lifetime of this grass is long. It’s been gone, when you look at the parks. The grass is old, tired, exhausted. We’re going to be redoing the grass with the finest grasses. I know a lot about grass because I own a lot of golf courses. And if you don’t have good grass, you’re not in business very long."

Trump did not name which parks would be targeted. Many of the city’s best-known spaces, including the National Mall, are federally managed, while local parks fall under the D.C. Department of Parks and Recreation.

The capital is currently experiencing a dry spell, leaving grass browner than usual—even though D.C. has been ranked the nation’s number-one big-city park system by the Trust for Public Land for five years running.

Social media users mock Trump’s ‘grass expert’ remark

Trump’s recent claim about knowing “a lot about grass” sparked a flurry of sarcastic posts online.

“He knows a lot about grass. How wonderful,” one user wrote.

“I bet he knows more about grass, and asphalt than Putin,” another said.

A third user quipped, “The grass is old, tired, exhausted… sounds like he’s describing himself.”

“Trump is talking about growing some Grass? There's Hope for him yet!” someone added.

“Trump's claim of being a grass expert is as credible as his promise to end wars on Day 1, especially given his administration's record of escalating global tensions and ignoring climate change impacts on natural resources. #TrumpTheGrassWhisperer,” one post read.

“But but but… George Washington planted that grass himself,” a user joked.

“He knows a lot about grass. Fuck me, is there anything he doesn’t know a lot about? Ps. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing,” another wrote.

Some even brought up Epstein conspiracy theories.

“Was there a lot of “grass” on the Epstein island?” one user asked.

“Lmao yes that’s true. He was the best gardener at Epstein’s island,” another commented.

Federal takeover of DC police enters uncertain phase

Trump declared a “crime emergency” on August 11 under the Home Rule Act of 1973, granting him temporary authority over the Metropolitan Police Department. He also deployed 800 National Guard troops to the capital, saying his goal is to rescue the city from “crime, bloodshed, bedlam, squalor, and worse."

Under federal law, Trump’s control of the police department will automatically expire after 30 days unless Congress approves an extension.

"We’re going to be asking for extensions on that, long-term extensions, because you can’t have (just) 30 days," Trump said, adding that he expects full Republican backing for his forthcoming crime legislation.

The president also criticized Washington Mayor Muriel Bowser and Democratic efforts to make the District of Columbia the 51st state.

“Statehood is ridiculous. We want to straighten the place out,” Trump said, arguing that Democrats only support the proposal to secure two additional Senate seats. “It’s not going to happen.”

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