Allison Holker recalls 'triggering' final moments with Stephen 'tWitch' Boss before his tragic death
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Allison Holker, widow of Stephen "tWitch" Boss, is still haunted by her final moments with her late husband.
During her recent appearance on the 'Jamie Kern Lima Show', the professional dancer revealed chilling details about their last night together and shared how she continues to struggle with unanswered questions following his tragic death, as per RadarOnline.
Allison Holker opens up about the last moments she spent with late husband Stephen 'tWitch' Boss
Allison Holker shared "triggering" details about her final moments with her late husband, revealing a cryptic emoji text he sent and describing the eerie atmosphere that felt "off" just hours before he tragically took his own life in December 2022.
The 37-year-old, who was married to 'The Ellen DeGeneres Show' DJ for nearly a decade, revealed unsettling aspects of their last interaction.
During the Monday, February 3 episode of the 'Jamie Kern Lima Show', Holker said that Boss had sent her a tree emoji the night before he died, a signal he often used to let her know he was heading to a marijuana dispensary.
She recalled him coming home visibly "triggered," saying, "Me and Weslie were watching 'The White Lotus' and he came in and I could tell something was wrong."
Holker admitted she has "always wondered" whether Boss was already at the hotel when he sent that text and if he had planned to end his life but hesitated at the last moment.
"Is that why he came home so triggered? Had he attempted and then got scared and then was too shameful to tell me?" she questioned.
Holker recalled how something felt off that night, as the following day he was at the Oak Tree Inn, where he took his own life. "There was a tree that looked just like the emoji and the dispensary is right across the street," she shared.
She knows she may never get all the answers, but the memory still haunts her. Holker also admitted that every time she sees a tree emoji, it "will always kind of be a little bit of a scar."
Stephen 'tWitch' Boss' farewell letter had 'dried teardrops'
In her new memoir, 'This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light', Allison Holker shared the painful discovery of Stephen "tWitch" Boss’ handwritten farewell letter that rather than providing answers only deepened the mystery of his death.
Holker found a multi-page letter near Boss’ body, written on torn sheets from a yellow notepad, according to Parade. It was addressed to her, their children, Weslie Renae, 16, Maddox Laurel, eight, and Zaia, five, and his family, filled with raw emotion but lacking a clear explanation for his suicide.
"I was terrified to read the multi-page letter. I assumed it would solve the mystery of why he killed himself, and I was apprehensive about knowing his unvarnished truth," Holker writes in her book.
Instead, what she found were more questions than closure. Boss appeared to have intended to write individual notes to each loved one, but he never finished them.
"The start of another letter suggested he intended to write each of us individual notes, but he never got further than the salutation. I can only guess that he became overwhelmed trying to express his deep and abiding love for the family he had created. The idea of saying an individual goodbye was too painful, as evidenced by the dried teardrops on the page," she further writes.
The discovery was almost too much to bear. "Those teardrops made me think of his state of mind that last night he spent with us. It is especially tough for me to look back on that evening because there are so many things I wish I had done differently. If only I had asked more penetrating questions about where he had gone and the lie he was referring to. There had to have been one thing I could have asked that would have uncorked his bottled-up emotions and released an explanation for his strange behavior," she notes.
