Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss’ emotional farewell letter had 'dried teardrops' on the page, says Allison Holker

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Allison Holker is opening up about the heartbreaking final moments of her late husband, Stephen “tWitch” Boss, in her new memoir, 'This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light'.

In the book, released Tuesday, Holker reveals that Boss left behind a handwritten farewell note, one that provided more pain than clarity, as reported by Parade.

Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss’ goodbye note had ‘teardrops' on the page

Boss, a beloved dancer and 'Ellen DeGeneres Show' DJ, died by suicide at 40 on December 13, 2022.

Holker shared that a multipage letter, written on torn sheets from a yellow notepad, was discovered near his body. Addressed to her, their children, and his family, the note was filled with raw emotion but no definitive explanation.

"I was terrified to read the multipage letter," Holker writes. "I assumed it would solve the mystery of why he killed himself, and I was apprehensive about knowing his unvarnished truth."

Instead, she says his words "left us with more questions than closure." Even more heartbreaking, Boss appeared to have planned individual letters for each loved one but never finished them.

"The start of another letter, suggested he intended to write each of us individual notes, but he never got further than the salutation,” Holker shares.

"I can only guess that he became overwhelmed trying to express his deep and abiding love for the family he had created. The idea of saying an individual goodbye was too painful, as evidenced by the dried teardrops on the page," she writes.

Adding to the emotional weight of the discovery, she notes, "Those teardrops made me think of his state of mind that last night he spent with us. It is especially tough for me to look back on that evening because there are so many things I wish I had done differently. If only I had asked more penetrating questions about where he had gone and the lie he was referring to. There had to have been one thing I could have asked that would have uncorked his bottled-up emotions and released an explanation for his strange behavior.”

Allison Holker is moving forward while honoring legacy of Stephen 'tWitch' Boss

Holker describes her husband’s death as “incomprehensible.”

Since Boss’ passing, Holker has focused on honoring his memory through the Move With Kindness Foundation, which, "aims to carry on the legacy of Stephen "tWitch" Boss by spreading love and mental health awareness.”

Allison Holker introduced her new relationship on Instagram in November 2024, revealing her boyfriend, Adam Edmunds. A few months earlier, in January, she released a children's book, 'Keep Dancing Through: A Boss Family Groove.'

Her memoir, 'This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light', is now available.