‘I’ve been bruised’: Kevin Costner says he’s ‘not going to lose’ himself as he deals with divorce aftermath

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Kevin Costner is reflecting on his life after divorce and his sheer will to not lose himself.

Costner, who recently received a lengthy standing ovation at Cannes after showcasing the first chapter of his film ‘Horizon: The American Saga’, declared in a cover story interview with GQ that he is staying true to himself and is not “going to lose” himself.

Kevin Costner opens up about life choices

Recently, it was reported that the ‘Yellowstone’ actor took out $38 million of his own money to fund his passion project ‘Horizon’ which will be released in four parts.

While part one of the film, after premiering at Cannes, it eyeing for a July release, the second one will hit the screens in August.

Though the actor has invested an eye-watering sum in the project, Costner clarified that his personal investment has nothing to do with his divorce from his ex-wife Christine Baumgartner.

Baumgartner filed for divorce last May with the couple settling their divorce in September 2023. However, following the financial settlements, the couple finalized their divorce in February 2024.

Talking to the outlet, the ‘Dances With Wolves’ star said, "I’m not going to lose myself. I’ve taken big bites out of life, life’s taken big ones out of me, right?" 

The veteran actor further reflected, "I’m not going to lose myself because I’ve been bruised. I have been, but I’m not going to lose myself," per People.

He shared that he identified with the character of Ahab from Herman Melville’s novel ‘Moby Dick and its 1956 film adaptation of the same name. Costner said that while he shared the same obsession as Ahab with the eponymous whale, he differs in that he "take[s] nobody down with me."

Costner explained, "And what I’m going to do is — because we are now after the white whale, okay? So I can’t let go of this rope no matter how much my heart’s on the ground, no matter how broken I may be on a daily basis, I can’t let go of this rope because if I do, this thing called 'Horizon' will stop.”

While he concurred the movie is "not more important than the other things in my life," the Oscar winner admitted that he felt responsible for all those who were working with him on the four-part western saga.

"And so it doesn’t matter how much water’s hitting me in the face, I can’t let go of the rope that is this thing," added ‘The Bodyguard’ star.

During the interview, Costner further opened up about the importance of balancing his family life with his eclectic career. 

The actor is an indulging father to his seven children. Apart from his four older children from his past relationships - Annie, Lily, Joe and Liam - Costner also shares three children with Baumgartner - Cayden, 17, Hayes, 15, and Grace, 13.

Talking about the golden balance of familial responsibility and career, Costner remarked, "Very serious stuff. And those things are very important. I have to deal with them.”

"And I have to deal with them on a daily basis, emotionally, historically almost. And then there’s the immediate needs of children,” continued the ‘Silverado’ actor.

He continued, “I’m not going to list the things — I’m going to stop right there with them. That is my job, looking at that and dealing with that.”

Kevin Costner receives lengthy standing ovation at Cannes

Costner attended the ‘Horizon’ premiere at Cannes recently where he was moved to tears by the seven-minute-long standing ovation by the audience.

Not only his co-star Sienna Miller was accompanying the actor but also his children were in attendance, per Variety.

A visibly emotional Costner said after the conclusion of the celebration, “I’m sorry you had to clap that long for me to understand that I should speak.”

He continued to gush, “Such good people. Such a good moment, not just for me, but for the actors that came with me, for people who believed in me who continued to work.”

“It’s a funny business, and I’m so glad I found it. There’s no place like here. I’ll never forget this — either will my children,” added the star.