'Thirsty-ass b**ches': Stephen Colbert playfully teases attendees at Biden's State of the Union address

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: To celebrate President Joe Biden’s State of the Union address and be the first to dish out the post-SOTU snark, Stephen Colbert stayed up past his bedtime on Thursday to host a live edition of 'The Late Show'. And boy, was he rewarded.

While Colbert surprised many by not even mentioning Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), or her hat — despite her desperate attempts to draw attention away from the evening’s proceedings — he knew what his viewers really came for.

“I hear you asking out there: ‘Steve, were there any thirsty-ass bitches in the audience?’”

“The answer is yes,” Colbert continued. “Because thanks to rules giving former members of Congress floor access, George Santos attended the State of the Union.”

“Come on! You can’t just go back to your old job like you never left,” said Colbert, adding: “Unless you’re Jon Stewart. Keep it up, Jon—you’re crushing it!”

Colbert's live commentary

Throughout the live show, Colbert engaged with his audience, acknowledging the late hour and the shared experience of being awake. He humorously attributed their alertness to his sponsor, "too much caffeine," and jokingly blamed shakes on the excessive consumption of coffee.

"We are live tonight, and, oh yeah, so is Joe Biden. More importantly, we are awake, thanks to our sponsor, too much caffeine."

Commentary on Biden's Speech

Colbert shared highlights from Biden's speech, emphasizing the president's historical references, economic achievements, and optimistic tone.

He playfully teased Biden's penchant for making lists of two things and touched on the tense atmosphere surrounding the event, hinting at the possibility that it might be the last State of the Union depending on future political developments.

Colbert's humorous take on Biden's speech

Colbert delved into Biden's choice of a chicken parm lunch, making light of Politico's scoop on the president's meal. He also highlighted Biden's focus on addressing high prescription drug prices, shrinkflation in snack sizes, and corporate pricing, injecting humor into serious policy matters.

"Biden took aim at high-priced prescription drugs. Americans pay more for prescription drugs than anywhere in the world. It's wrong, and I'm ending it. That is fantastic. They should definitely make it cheaper to buy whatever amphetamine they shaved on top of Joe's chicken parm before giving the speech."